Supporting Texts: Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 4:20-22, 7:1-5, 20:11, 22:6, 15, 23:22; Luke 2:51; Romans 1:30; Colossians 3:20; 2 Timothy 3:2, 15.
It is our honor and privilege to gather together to study God’s wonderful and eternal Word. God’s Word is perfect, entirely and personally inspired by the living God and free from all error. It is also our responsibility to obey God’s Word and put it into practice in our lives. Our gathering together on Sunday morning in worship is designed to present God’s Word to you, to remind each of us what it says and what it means, and to admonish each other to worship our Lord and Savior, grow in our faith, and live a holy life before a watching world.
To that end, we have before us a very practical section of the Holy Scriptures. The Apostle Paul, who wrote this epistle while locked away in a Roman prison, began this section by reminding us that it is our duty as Christians to “walk in love,” and to “walk as children of Light.” This refers to our behavior, our conduct, and our attitudes. It brings us down to the level of how we live life from day to day. Paul goes on to tell us this Christian behavior is divinely empowered by being filled with the Holy Spirit. In other words, God’s Spirit, who is placed within every true believer at the moment of salvation, can actually control the Christian’s life and enable them to grow in the Lord.
Paul then takes us to a foundational aspect of the Spirit’s control of our life. He tells us in chapter five and verse twenty-one that we are to consistently apply the principle of authority and submission to every aspect of our lives. This, of course, flows from the reality that, since becoming a Christian, we have acknowledged that God is our authority and we must become entirely submitted to Him. The Apostle then moves us into several important human relationships, nearly all of us encounter: marriage, family, and the workplace. We found that the Christian marriage relationship is designed to operate under the principle of authority and submission: wives are to be subject to their own husbands and husbands must love their own wives. All of this is seen in the context of the mysterious relationship of Christ as the bridegroom to His bride, the Church. Our Lord wants our marriage to be a living object lesson of Christ’s relationship with His church. Anything less than obedience to His command mars that image to those who are watching.
Next, Paul comes through the front door of our homes and gives instruction to children and parents. We must understand that God’s truth came through the Apostle and it established what a home should be and it was in stark contrast to the world of Paul’s time and our own time. The truth Paul gives us actually elevates the status of children. Please allow me to explain. In Paul’s day, Roman law had a feature called patria potestas (which means “the father’s power”). William Barclay wrote, “A Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves; he could make them work in his fields, even in chains; he could take the law into his own hands, for law was in his own hands, and he could punish as he liked; he could even inflict the death penalty on his child. Further, the power of the Roman father extended over the child’s whole life, so long as the father lived.”
Roman law also included the father’s right of child repudiation. When a baby was born to a Roman father, it was placed before its father. If the father stooped and lifted the child, the child was accepted and was raised as his. If he turned away, the child was rejected and was literally discarded and left to die or be picked up by those who trafficked in infants who raised them to be slaves. A fragment of a letter from ancient times from a Roman father to his wife said, “If, good luck to you! – you have a child, if it is a boy, let it live, if it is a girl, throw it out.”
It is against such a dark and dreadful backdrop of pagan cruelty that the new relations of parents to children and children to parents brought by the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ stands forth like the blazing sunlight.
I have divided today’s text into three parts. First, we will look at God’s instructions to children. Second, the passage gives attention to God’s instructions to parents. Finally, we will look at God’s instructions for the workplace. Let us begin with God’s instructions to Christian children.
GOD’S INSTRUCTIONS TO CHILDREN. Ephesians 6:1-3
Children. We notice that in both our English translations and the original Greek, the first word is “children” which is in the emphatic position in the sentence. We need to think about this for a moment. The word in the original is teknon – this word meant children who were in the process of learning and growing up. In our world they are older elementary school students, middle school students, and high school students. As I look around this morning, I see members of this group. Now, keep in mind what was happening here. These words were written by the Apostle Paul from a prison where he was being kept in chains because of preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. He was writing to a church where he had been the pastor and he knew there would be children sitting in the congregation listening to this letter being read. When the reader got to this point, he said, “Children.” In other words, “Alright young people, Paul is talking directly to you! Pay attention.” As far as Paul was concerned, young people are addressed as responsible members of the congregation who are old enough to understand their relationship with the Lord. These are young people who have received Christ as their Savior, and they need direction on living their Christian life.
I know it is easy to sit quietly in a church service like this one and be bored with a message you assume is targeted at adults and not you. But this is different and this time you should pay attention. These verses are directed at you and only for you. I know most of you by name, and at this moment God is calling out your name and telling you this is what He expects from you. This Bible is not just for adults; it is also for you! Faithfully living the Christian life is not just for us old people, it is for young people like you as well. The entire Bible shows us how important young people are. For example, the book of Proverbs says, “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right” (Proverbs 20:11 (NIV)). The word “child” in this verse is the Hebrew nahar and means the same age group expressed by the Greek word teknon. If you are between twelve and twenty, he’s talking to you.
The Responsibility of Obedience. So, what does Paul tell young people to do? How are they to apply God’s Word to their Christian life? Since you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit, lives inside of you and wants to fill you and control your life. What does He want you to do? The Bible does not make it difficult to understand – it simply says “obey your parents in the Lord.” This word means that we should listen to the advice and instruction of our parents and do what they tell us to do (and may I add, without complaining). Also notice carefully, that it is to “parents” plural – you are to apply this to both your father and your mother.
The Bible gives us a very clear example of this kind of obedience. It is found in Luke 2:51. I am sure you remember the story of Jesus’ visit to Jerusalem’s temple when He was twelve years old. As the celebration of the Passover continued, His parents lost him in the crowds of worshipers and headed back to Nazareth thinking He was in the group, but He wasn’t. Like good parents, they looked for Jesus, and when they couldn’t find Him, they returned to Jerusalem. After being reunited they went back home. But it is just here, in verse fifty-one, that we read, “And He (Jesus) went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them.” The Lord Jesus, Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, the One who created His parents Joseph and Mary, actually placed Himself under subjection to them and consistently obeyed them. He stands out as the greatest example of true obedience. It is for that very reason that He calls on us to likewise be obedient.
If we fail to obey our parents, we are disobedient, and that brings us into the arena of sin and wickedness. In Romans 1:30, at a place where the Holy Spirit described people who were totally captured by sin and prepared for God’s judgment, He used the words “disobedient to parents.” People who choose to consistently live in disobedience to their parents await God’s judgment. Later, when the Bible gives signs of the evil of the end times, in the days before Jesus returns in Second Timothy 3:2, it again uses the words “disobedient to parents.” In those days, while it may seem popular to be disobedient to parents, those who live for Jesus will remain obedient and not follow the crowd. The words, “in the Lord,” do not define the limits of obedience, but instead it shows the spirit in which the obedience is to be accomplished. In other words, since it is God’s will that we remain obedient, God will empower our obedience. As we trust in the Lord, He will help us in our obedience to our parents. That “this is right” shows that this is what our Lord considers to be true inner righteousness put on display outwardly for all to see.
The Responsibility of Honor. Along with obedience, God calls us to honor our parents. Obedience has to do with action and honor has to do with attitude. To instruct us to honor our parents, Paul used the fifth of the Ten Commandments from Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Paul quotes this Old Testament verse to a New Testament congregation. Why would he do that? How would these young people know about the Ten Commandments? Most scholars think that one of the first things members of the early church did was to teach Gentile children the Ten Commandments, something we did in this country until a couple of generations ago.
But what does honor mean? Both the Old Testament word from Exodus and the New Testament word from Ephesians mean the same. First, honor means to prize someone highly. Children, then, are to highly prize their parents. Second, honor means to show affection for and to care for. Children are consequently urged to love their parents and to care for them, especially when their parents get older. Finally, to honor means to show respect. Keep in mind, nowhere in Scripture is the authority of parents to replace or be a substitute for the authority of God’s Word. By comparing the two references, Exodus and Ephesians, we find that in Exodus the commandment concludes, “that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you,” while in Ephesians, Paul concludes it by saying, “so that you may live long on the earth.” Why the change? Because when God promised a land to Israel, He included that as part of the blessing of obedience. But Gentile Christians are not promised a “land” so the blessing to them is longevity of life.
Bible scholar and pastor J. M. Boice wrote, that honoring parents “is a difficult area, for not all parents live in such a way that their children can properly honor them. What is a child to do if his or her father is irresponsible, unholy, or licentious or if his or her mother is immoral, undisciplined or excessively worldly? Can a child properly honor such a parent? Should he or she?” It is God’s design for our families that, as parents, we live an honorable life. We must see it as our duty to God and to our children and grandchildren.
GOD’S INSTRUCTIONS TO PARENTS. Ephesians 6:4
Fathers. Okay, children, I will talk to your parents now. You can take a break. Fathers are addressed here since in chapter five, as husbands, they are the head of the home and they must take primary responsibility for raising their own children. However, Paul did not exclude mothers, so this verse is addressed to parents in general. Throughout the Bible, fathers and mothers are called upon to raise their children. Proverbs 23:22 tells us, “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 15:20 reminds us, “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.” And, Proverbs 1:8 admonishes us, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
The Bible records the sad results when parents neglect their children, either by being bad examples to them or failing to discipline them properly. David indulged Absalom and set him a bad example, and the results were tragic. Eli, the high priest, failed to discipline his sons and they brought disgrace to his name and defeat to the nation of Israel. In his later years, Isaac mollycoddled Esau, while his wife showed favoritism to Jacob; and the result was a divided home. Jacob was showing favoritism to Joseph when God providentially rescued the youth and made a man out of him in Egypt. Paul tells us that the father has several responsibilities toward his children.
Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger. Parents are urged to avoid those attitudes, words, and actions that would provoke their children to anger. In essence, Paul was calling on parents to avoid excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, inconsistency, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, and subjecting a child to intentional humiliation. Other parental provocations include: overprotection, pushing achievement beyond reasonable bounds, failure to sacrifice for them, failure to allow them to grow up at a normal pace, using love as a tool of reward or punishment, and physical or verbal abuse.
Parents who persist in using such provocations risk creating such anger and resentment in their children that they will later resent their parents and likely resent their parents’ faith in Christ. In His marvelous grace, God gave us our children for the ultimate purpose of leading them to Him. The supreme goal of our parenting must be to lead our children from a dependence upon us to a complete dependence on the Lord Jesus Christ. We are called to help them walk with the Lord throughout their lives. Self-centered and arrogant parents cannot possibly lead their children to faithfully follow the Lord, since this requires humility and subjecting ourselves to His will. Recognize the power and potential of proper parenting in your home and center your life on Jesus.
Bring Them Up in the Discipline and Instruction of the Lord. What does it mean for parents to bring their children up in discipline? First, it must include training them in the truths of the Bible. This means more than bringing them to Sunday School, church services and Vacation Bible School. It means parents actually teach their children about the Bible and lead them in discussions about the Bible. Timothy, Paul’s protégé was trained in this way early in his life. The Apostle told Timothy, “You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15). Timothy was taught the things of Scripture in his home by his mother and grandmother.
In the book of Proverbs, a father told his children, “My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your sight; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them and health to all their body. Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; turn your foot from evil” (Proverbs 4:20-27).
The book of Proverbs also tells us that it is the parents’ responsibility to discover the direction their children should follow in life. It says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This is likely the best-known verse in Proverbs on child training. Child-training involves “limiting” a child’s conduct away from evil and toward godliness and starting him in the right direction. In this way, we prepare the child for his or her future responsibilities. Therefore, it means training our children for adulthood in our homes while they are growing up. Obviously, this means both training and discipline. But we must always be cautious. The reformer, Martin Luther, once said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true. But beside the rod, keep an apple to give him or her when he or she has done well.”
I had intended to go on to Christian employees and employers, but I’ll have to cover that in part two. Let me close with a quotation from Pastor J. M. Boice who said, “It is a conviction of mine that no man has a right to tell other people how to raise their children until he has children of his own and has tried to raise them. As a corollary, I am convinced that no wise man will give advice even then until his own children have grown up and turned out well. Unfortunately, a preacher cannot teach the sixth chapter of Ephesians without dealing with the relations of parents to children and children to parents, since Paul introduces the subject. And a pastor who is concerned for his people will not want to ignore relationships simply because they are troublesome.”
Being a parent and being a son or a daughter is not easy and I cannot even imagine what it must be like to try parenting without the Lord’s help. Parents, we should pray for our children by name every day. Children, we should pray for our parents every day as well. If you have never come to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, you must absolutely do that immediately. Put receiving Christ off no longer. Receive Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior right now.
